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4 whole months of being a mommy

It is hard to believe my little girl is 4 months old already. My Facebook memories feed has been showing me updates of everything we went though with ivf a year ago. It’s so strange to look back on it and remember all those years of pain. I now realize Millie was that missing piece of my life, she was that pain and need that I never knew the name of. I knew I wanted to be a mommy I cried about it weekly for 11 years but I never knew how bad I needed it till she was here.

She is growing and changing so much.

At Millies 4 month check up she was 25 inches long and weights 14.3 pounds! She moved up to the 71% for height and 48% for weight! That’s a big jump from the 6 pounds 2 ounces she was at birth.

We went to the renaissance festival for Halloween. She thought it was so fun and loved watching everyone she really liked the fireworks at the end. She was dressed as a peacock for Halloween. Which didn’t last long cause she got too hot. So she became a unicorn then she pooped on it and became a skeleton.

My parents can down to see her. It was fun having them here and she loved all the attention.

We joined the little gym. The youngest they can be is 4 months. She loves seeing other kids and we needed something to do to get us out of the house.

Thanksgiving was expecially special since last year we found out the day before Thanksgiving and we made the announcement on Thanksgiving to my in laws that we were pregnant. I remember being so stressed and worried something would go wrong. So to put her babies first Christmas ornament on the tree this year was a so exciting.

2017 is my favorite years yet!

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My Two Month Old

Millie had her 2 month check up last week. She got her shots and she cried but got over it pretty fast. She is now 22 3/4 inches long and 10 pounds 10 ounces! The doctor said she looks great. Her head is nice and round. They are still calling her skinny for her height but she is gaining good so no complaints. The last month she has been sleeping good through the night though she still sleeps in the bassinet in our room.

I’ve been back at work the last month which has been harder then I thought it would be between missing her and trying to stay on top of pumping so we can keep breast feeding. It is nice to have 2 incomes in the house again. I have been working 3 days a week. I work my husband’s 2 days off and Saturdays when his sister can babysit. Hoping my mom can move down soon then I will go back more full time.

Millie is a great baby though. She is very happy and full of smiles. A complete joy to be around. I am over the mood about being her mom. Motherhood is everything I thought it would be. No matter how bad my day is or what happened she always makes me happy.

So here is some baby spam cause I take way too many pictures of this little one.

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Back to the grind

Tomorrow is my last day of maternity leave before I return back to work and Millies one month!! I’m both excited to get back to what I love doing and get out of the house a little bit. But the thought of being away from Millie for 8ish hours a day makes me want to cry. To say I spoil her through out the day is an understatement. I can’t put her down and kiss her constantly. We talk and cuddle. I sing to her and show her around her house. I selfishly do it all for me cause I can’t stand not holding and touching her. She is a dream come true and I’m going to miss her every second she’s not in my arms.

Luckily I am only going back part time for now. I start with 4 days this week then I’ll be doing 3 days a week till we get in the swing of things or when I feel I can take on more. Luckily being my own boss I can set my own schedule and work around my husband’s schedule so we just need a baby sitter on Saturdays and his sister has agreed to watch her.

I’m still working on breast feeding and I am going to try to power through and pump while I’m at work. Then just supplement with formula if I can’t pump enough to feed her while I’m at work.

Let’s hope it all goes smoothly!!

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Week one of being a mom.

Yesterday marked Millies one week out of me. She had her first doctors appointment 3 days ago to check her weight and make sure she was gaining. She lost 7 ounces in the hospital which was 8% of her body weight. At her appointment she already gained back 4 ounces. So she is doing great!! The doctor said I must have whole milk for breast milk. Which was a huge relief cause I was scared she wasn’t getting enough from me and I’ve been stressing about breastfeeding. I was told to cut back her feeding because we were feeding everytime she wanted it and letting her feed till she released. Now she does not get to eat more then every 2 hours and not for longer then 15 mins each side. It works great during the day she sleeps and sleeps and I usually have to wake her up to eat… at night is a totally different story. She wakes up every hour demanding food. We are slowly working on flipping those so mommy can get some sleep, specially now cause daddy went back to work today. But all and all its been so wonderful. I love watching her and snuggling her and kissing her fat little cheeks. It’s just such a wonderful feeling finally holding her. But with out further ado… baby pics!! Cause you know that’s all I do all day now!!

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HELLO BABY!!

This is a little over due… specially since my last post left delivery in limbo in the blog world. But time has been a precious commodity I do not have enough of the last couple of days! 

To start where I left off. 

The med they gave me did not help me sleep that much.. specially as contractions started. They were not actually painful but just like a period cramp that wouldn’t really left me sleep “good”. Not that you could on that bed anyways… 

So in the morning around 5 they took out the thing thinning my cervix which really hurt and made me bleed and they started pitocin to start labor and dilate me. I didn’t dilate much.. so noon is they broke my water to speed things up… it worked! Things started getting pretty painful after that. The contractions started to get stronger and come faster. A couple hours later I finally asked for an epidural and I fell asleep for a while. They put a censor in the uterus to watch contractions better and they put some fluids back in to help baby bounce around as they called it. Shortly after 4 pm the doctor came in and said your contractions look like they are strong and regular let’s check and see how dialed you are… we were 10 cm. She asked if I would you like to do a couple test pushed and she would call the delivery team. So we started pushing. At 4:28 pm on July 14 exactly 2 weeks early, after 15 minutes of pushing and just as the team walked in the room my little Millie popped out into the world. 6 pounds 2 ounce 19 1/4 inches. 

She was just big enough to stay with us and not go to the nicu.  After a couple hours we went to postpartum and my husbands family got to meet her. We worked on breastfeeding most of the time and had nurses in and out of the room a million times a day and we tried to rest.

We came home yesterday. 3 days after delivery and 4 days after the unexpected trip to the hospital! It’s crazy and stressful and I need sleep but I’m so happy to have this little angel! She’s so incredibly good and just happy to sleep and cuddle you. Oh and feed all the time.. we are still working on breastfeeding. It’s really hard. I worry she’s not getting enough food and she wants to eat all crazy times.. 10 mins here, 30 there then for an hour in the middle of the night. I’ve cried a lot.. last night I cried cause I was so happy she peed. Lol its the little things. 

I’m super excited my mom is flying in on Saturday I can’t wait for her to meet her first grandchild. So we are just taking everything min by min and telling ourselves we got this! 






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37 weeks. 3 to go?

I had an appointment with my ob yesterday. She was very positive and said everything looks good. We just need to keep watching my blood pressure incase it gets too high. Which it has been getting up there… she said next week she will start checking my cervix to see if I’m dilated. 

Today we had an appointment with our high risk doctor for an ultrasound. She was very concerned with Millie’s size. She went from the 28th percentile 2 and a half weeks ago to the 15th today. So her growth is slowing down. She wants to see me back in one week and they will decide if they are going to induce me. They think she will grow better on the outside. 

Right now she is measuring just under 6 pounds. So she will be little but she should do well. Of course I’m still struggling with it. I feel like I’m failing her. I broke down and had a pitty party after the doctor. The doctor really can’t come up with a reason why she isn’t growing she still thinks it’s connected to my blood pressure so she checked it cause I guess she thinks I’m lying to her when she asks how it is. It was fine when she checked so everyone is just at a loss…. 

On one hand I just keep trying to tell myself at least we made it this far and the other part of me is just so scared and worried and sad that something may be wrong or will go wrong and she won’t be okay or will have to struggle.  

Next week could be interesting or it could be more waiting.. we shall see. 

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36 Week Update 

Tomorrow I will be 36 weeks pregnant. One week away from being full term. 

It’s not been the easiest week of my pregnancy. My blood pressure is creeping up, my feet have been starting to swell, walking is much more like a waddle now. I really can not work a full day anymore. It’s just too hard to stand that long.  

At the check up with my doctor this morning I expressed all my concerns with her, specially the blood pressure. She said it is totally normal. My blood pressure should be getting higher since we are getting so close to the end. And my feet should be swelling and all that fun. She made me feel so much better. We did the strep test and booked my next appointment for next week. And we will be going in every week now till my daughter is born. 

I can not believe I’m due in 4 short weeks!! I have been keeping busy getting the nursery ready. Mostly just washing all her clothes, blankets and bedding and trying to organize and find homes for everything. We still have a couple things we need to get but for the most part we are ready… or as ready as you can be to have your first child.