It is hard to believe my little girl is 4 months old already. My Facebook memories feed has been showing me updates of everything we went though with ivf a year ago. It’s so strange to look back on it and remember all those years of pain. I now realize Millie was that missing piece of my life, she was that pain and need that I never knew the name of. I knew I wanted to be a mommy I cried about it weekly for 11 years but I never knew how bad I needed it till she was here.
She is growing and changing so much.
At Millies 4 month check up she was 25 inches long and weights 14.3 pounds! She moved up to the 71% for height and 48% for weight! That’s a big jump from the 6 pounds 2 ounces she was at birth.
We went to the renaissance festival for Halloween. She thought it was so fun and loved watching everyone she really liked the fireworks at the end. She was dressed as a peacock for Halloween. Which didn’t last long cause she got too hot. So she became a unicorn then she pooped on it and became a skeleton.
My parents can down to see her. It was fun having them here and she loved all the attention.
We joined the little gym. The youngest they can be is 4 months. She loves seeing other kids and we needed something to do to get us out of the house.
Thanksgiving was expecially special since last year we found out the day before Thanksgiving and we made the announcement on Thanksgiving to my in laws that we were pregnant. I remember being so stressed and worried something would go wrong. So to put her babies first Christmas ornament on the tree this year was a so exciting.
2017 is my favorite years yet!
This is a little over due… specially since my last post left delivery in limbo in the blog world. But time has been a precious commodity I do not have enough of the last couple of days!
To start where I left off.
The med they gave me did not help me sleep that much.. specially as contractions started. They were not actually painful but just like a period cramp that wouldn’t really left me sleep “good”. Not that you could on that bed anyways…
So in the morning around 5 they took out the thing thinning my cervix which really hurt and made me bleed and they started pitocin to start labor and dilate me. I didn’t dilate much.. so noon is they broke my water to speed things up… it worked! Things started getting pretty painful after that. The contractions started to get stronger and come faster. A couple hours later I finally asked for an epidural and I fell asleep for a while. They put a censor in the uterus to watch contractions better and they put some fluids back in to help baby bounce around as they called it. Shortly after 4 pm the doctor came in and said your contractions look like they are strong and regular let’s check and see how dialed you are… we were 10 cm. She asked if I would you like to do a couple test pushed and she would call the delivery team. So we started pushing. At 4:28 pm on July 14 exactly 2 weeks early, after 15 minutes of pushing and just as the team walked in the room my little Millie popped out into the world. 6 pounds 2 ounce 19 1/4 inches.
She was just big enough to stay with us and not go to the nicu. After a couple hours we went to postpartum and my husbands family got to meet her. We worked on breastfeeding most of the time and had nurses in and out of the room a million times a day and we tried to rest.
We came home yesterday. 3 days after delivery and 4 days after the unexpected trip to the hospital! It’s crazy and stressful and I need sleep but I’m so happy to have this little angel! She’s so incredibly good and just happy to sleep and cuddle you. Oh and feed all the time.. we are still working on breastfeeding. It’s really hard. I worry she’s not getting enough food and she wants to eat all crazy times.. 10 mins here, 30 there then for an hour in the middle of the night. I’ve cried a lot.. last night I cried cause I was so happy she peed. Lol its the little things.
I’m super excited my mom is flying in on Saturday I can’t wait for her to meet her first grandchild. So we are just taking everything min by min and telling ourselves we got this!
I had an appointment with my ob yesterday. She was very positive and said everything looks good. We just need to keep watching my blood pressure incase it gets too high. Which it has been getting up there… she said next week she will start checking my cervix to see if I’m dilated.
Today we had an appointment with our high risk doctor for an ultrasound. She was very concerned with Millie’s size. She went from the 28th percentile 2 and a half weeks ago to the 15th today. So her growth is slowing down. She wants to see me back in one week and they will decide if they are going to induce me. They think she will grow better on the outside.
Right now she is measuring just under 6 pounds. So she will be little but she should do well. Of course I’m still struggling with it. I feel like I’m failing her. I broke down and had a pitty party after the doctor. The doctor really can’t come up with a reason why she isn’t growing she still thinks it’s connected to my blood pressure so she checked it cause I guess she thinks I’m lying to her when she asks how it is. It was fine when she checked so everyone is just at a loss….
On one hand I just keep trying to tell myself at least we made it this far and the other part of me is just so scared and worried and sad that something may be wrong or will go wrong and she won’t be okay or will have to struggle.
Next week could be interesting or it could be more waiting.. we shall see.
I’m so sick of having bad appointments.
Yesterday we had an ultrasound with our high risk doctor. Our little girl is falling behind again they have her in the 30th percentile again.
The amniotic fluid is low so they said I needed to drink more water.
She did say the cord flow is better then last time so I guess lightening my load at work and at home has been helping.
Millie is 4 pounds 14 ounces now and she said if I am able to go full term she should be about 7 pounds. But she still really thinks my blood pressure is just a time bomb. Even though my regular ob, the one that is going to deliver my child, thinks if we made it this far we are going to be fine although it is still a possibility just not as big of one as before.
All and all my husband was very unhappy with the appointment and let me know when we got home saying I don’t care about my daughter cause I keep doing things I’m not supposed to and I’m not taking care of her or myself. So now he is a water nazi and wants me to cut my hours back at work even more. He did clean the house this morning so I would be able to relax but I felt really bad yesterday by him yelling at me. I care more about this baby then I have anything ever in my life and I am trying everything to be healthy for her but life can’t be put on hold and we are not made of money so I still need to work and the house still needs to be taken care of I’m just trying to find a balance.
Well next appointment is a week from tomorrow with our regular doctor and we will see what she says. She is far more positive then the high risk. After this appointment I will be 36 weeks and from there on out we will be seeing her every week till Millie comes.
We also had our baby shower that for some reason I forgot to post about.. it was very fun we had lots of fun games and great food and got lots and lots of cute baby stuff. We still have a lot of must haves on our registry but my husband’s friends from work are having a baby shower for him on the 11th so he won’t let me buy anything till after that.
And here’s my 8 month 2 weeks and 3 days baby bump. Lol yeah I couldn’t pick a round about time. I like making things difficult.
Well technically tomorrow is 34 weeks but doctors appointment was today. The doctor has been happy with my blood pressure numbers and said as long as they stay like this we will be going to full term! Or longer… that I’m not as excited about lol. I’m up to 16 pounds gained now.. so I’m getting close to what they wanted me to gain hopefully I don’t blow up in the next 6 weeks. For the most part I feel good, I’ve been sleeping good even with this wiggle worm having dance party’s in my tummy every time I stop moving. I have been feeling very tired though. I want a nap everyday and working makes me want two.
Heart burn though…. OMG it is awful!! Like all the time now and it will not let up.
The infection in my groin is gone for the most part but I have something the doctor said in a long scientific word that means extra skin growth. That I guess is very common when your pregnant so we are watching to see if it will go away after she’s born if not we have to cut it off. Pregnancy does some weird things to your body…
So let’s close this off with a picture of my very dirty mirror at work… oh yeah and my big ol pregnant self.
ONLY 6 WEEKS TILL MY DUE DATE!!
I went to see the doctor today about a skin infection.. before she even got to that she dove right into my ultrasound 2 days ago with Dr Adams. The flow though the umbilical cord is restricted they still think it’s tied to my blood pressure but every time they take it it’s fine… so now she is warning it’s a matter of time before I’m in the hospital on bed rest. I asked her if I should start cutting back on my activities now. And after telling her about all the things I’ve been doing she has me cutting all them out. AND cutting back my hours at work AND adding more breaks. So aside from shorter, easier days at work she wants me to sit around the house and do as little a possible in hopes of pushing back full in the hospital bed rest. My husband is very mad at me for not taking it easy earlier since he has been telling me from the start to stop doing things. SO NO MORE DOING THINGS!!
Today is officially my 8 month mark!! 32 weeks now! People are finally asking me if I’m pregnant so I’ll take that as I really look pregnant now. My weight gain as of today is 14 pounds. But truth be told it was after I just ate lunch. So maybe 13.. let’s see how much more I gain now that I’m going to lay around most of the time. Less then 8 weeks to go if my doctors have anything to say about it. Getting so excited!